I’m going through “The Change”. This probably falls under the heading of WAY too much information for many of my readers. I apologize for that, but if you’ll bear with me, there IS a point to this rather personal disclosure.
Over the past few years, forgetfulness has increasingly become a problem for Paul & I. I often joke that, between the stroke and menopause, we almost have one brain! The most common answer to almost any question at our house is simply, “oh. I forgot.” While at first we were disturbed by this phenomenon (we lost so much of Paul’s mom to Alzheimer’s before her heart finally stopped at 94), we have learned to laugh and find new tools to help us keep up with the simple tasks needed to maintain our daily lives.
My mind’s not the only thing that’s different. Underneath the 3 color weave my hairdresser uses to disguise my age, my hair is almost solid gray. My eyesight continues to deteriorate, my body doesn’t recover the way it once did, and my emotions have become increasingly unreliable. While I remain thankful for the good things in my life, I sometimes resent not being able to slow the effects of aging. In my mind’s eye, I’m still a fresh-faced 20 year-old but my mirror reflects someone very different and unfamiliar.
The truth is, my body isn’t the only thing that’s changing. My children are growing up and moving on with their lives. My marriage looks different now too – more settled in some ways, but continuing to evolve, in ways that both comfort and challenge me.
I’ve noticed lately, too, that some long-term friendships have changed. While our conversations are still full of love and history, they are infrequent. I just don’t spend much time with Kim, Twila or Katrina any more. I don’t like that. While I value the new friendships God has brought into my life, I miss the easy laughter and daily familiarity of “doing life” with those women.
I’m not the only one that struggles with change. In my job at a computer company I often see people struggling with new software or changes in personnel. They complain because things just aren’t the same, whether the changes brought improvement or not.
What does it say about us when we constantly grumble about change? For one thing it says we lack the faith to believe God can make things better than they are. More sadly though, it says we are unwilling even to hope and are susceptible to the bondage of despair.
I’m convinced that the adverse reaction so many of us have to change is a part of our very DNA. While both of my girls were free spirits, our son, Tory, needed more structure. When he was about 7 years old, I came in after work one day and told the kids “Surprise – we’re going to Joyland tonight!” Tory immediately threw himself on the floor and threw a fit screaming “we can’t go to Joyland - we always go to the grocery store on Wednesdays!” As much as Tory loved the rides at Joyland, the abrupt change in schedule was just too much for him to handle.
Have you ever found yourself in that situation – rebelling against a change that, in the end, was a wonderful thing? Some psychologists would say it’s a control issue but I think there’s more to it than that. A seven year old doesn’t want to be in control but he does need the sense of security he gets from knowing what the plan is.
In the 60’s, The Rascals sang, “How can I be sure? In a world that’s constantly changing, how can I be sure?”
They were singing about being sure of a girl’s love but they aren’t the only ones to ask that question. We all want to know who and what we can count on. Deep inside we need an anchor - something that holds us fast in the midst of the changing tide.
Jesus Christ is the same – yesterday, today and forever (Heb 13:8). What does that mean? It means that, in a world that’s constantly changing, He is my only source of stability and security. When the wind blows my circumstances and my emotions to and fro, when my friends can’t be there for me, when my pastor leaves, when my body betrays me, when my heart is overwhelmed, Jesus is there. Just as he was through all the difficulties that came before, he’s still right here holding my hand.
It means that the things he said and did 2000 years ago still apply. He is the same! His love for us is the same. Psalm 61:2 says that “when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I”. David understood what it felt like to be uncertain about the future and accosted from every side. The only way he knew to look was UP. He went on to say in verse 3 that God had been a shelter for him in the past. David headed back to that spiritual place of peace when everything around him went wrong.
To me that says that, even when my circumstances seem out of control, my heart doesn’t have to be.
I have a choice to make. I can sit down, refusing to get up and roll with the punches. I can cry and wail that it’s not fair. I can continue to mourn the way things used to be. I can stop moving forward and then wonder where God went. (There’ve been many times in my life when I’ve done just that.)
Or I can go with Him. I can trust that He knows the way through this unfamiliar territory. I can hold on to Jesus who is the same; releasing the past with a hopeful heart about the future.
I can look in the mirror and thank God that I have a body that still works and that He continues to keep safe. I can put the same type of effort into recent friendships that I did in my old ones and watch them flourish. I can embrace the vision of the new things God is doing in my children, my job, my marriage and my church, as I let go of the old with a grateful heart for what those times have meant to me.
I can grow through the inevitable changes instead of rebelling against them.
Isaiah 55:8-11 speaks of process in our lives. The rain and snow come down, they water the earth and make it bud and flourish. The earth yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater. Fruit doesn’t just happen. The whole thing takes some time. It takes several seasons to produce a good crop - water, sunshine, growth, pruning.
The unavoidable truth is that change happens. Sometimes those changes are good – promotions, marriages, births. Sometimes they are more difficult. But change does come to every area we hold dear – our relationships, our bodies and hopefully even our hearts.
Though it sometimes doesn’t appear to be the case, I’m determined to leave this earth more mature than when I arrived here. I don’t want to be a seed anymore, full of promise but not yet developed. I’m determined to grow through the change, knowing I don’t do it alone.
Life is change. Growth is optional.
We must choose wisely. 
Personal Note to TPCC members…
Can we talk church? Servant to servant? As we adapt to this new season, some of us have choices to make. We can rebel. We can judge. We can suspiciously sit back and wait to see what happens. Or we can embrace the new things God is doing, whether we understand them fully or not.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov 3:5
Though there have been changes in worship times and speakers, the vision of our church hasn’t changed. We are still about building bridges…to the seeker, the disenfranchised and the lost. Right now, we also need to build bridges with each other. Locking arms, focused on the future. It’s okay to be sad about the past but we can’t stay there. Not if we really are followers of Christ. Andy taught us that and much more.
Turns out the old adage is true, “the more things change, the more they stay the same”.
Trust in Him with all your heart. Don’t lean on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in everything you do and it will work out okay.
In the coming weeks we’ll be focusing on the Word, Prayer, Worship and Reaching the Lost. These are not only core values and disciplines of our body, they are things we need to grow, both as individuals and as part of the larger body of Christ. One thing is for sure – God’s purposes are moving forward in our city. Let’s dive in with Him!
Blessings!
Pam
{ 1 comment }
